Nice Things 8 & 9

Nice Thing #8

Take your old magazines to someone who could use them (a shut-in, someone in the hospital, someone who loves to read but can't afford magazines, or a teenager who might like to clip photos or phrases for a scrapbook). A subscription to a magazine you know your friend will enjoy makes a welcome birthday or Christmas gift.

Nice Thing #9

Forgive. Decide today that you will forgive that person who has offended you, even if he has never apologized. Forgive and forget it. Replace those feelings of anger, resentment, or revenge with the sweet, peaceful feeling that accompanies ridding your heart of such negative thoughts. Get over it and then do something nice for your former enemy. Your apology and gesture of reconciliation may not be reciprocated, but the act of forgiving will lift the burden from you.

Harboring ill will is bad for your health. It takes a lot of time and energy to ignore and/or avoid people. Just because the other person behaved poorly doesn't mean you have to stoop to his level. Be the better person. How you do it is up to you. You can call, visit, meet for lunch--whatever is most comfortable for you. You don't even have to apologize (unless you caused the rift in the first place). You just need to say something like, "I've been feeling bad about what has happened to our relationship and would like to put our issues behind us. Do you think we can agree to disagree and not bring up that particular issue again? I'd still like to consider you a friend. Is that possible?" Try to talk it out without hashing over the old hurts. Rather than saying, "You did this and you did that," say things such as, "I felt hurt because..., and I miss..." It's easier if the other person never knew you were upset. In that case, you don't even have to bring the issue up. Just forget about it and go back to treating the person the way you did before. Make peace. You'll be glad you did.